I passed a pill bug that was stuck on its back, and without thinking, I bent over and flipped him. If it could talk, it would have probably thanked me, but I felt really good about it anyway. That’s why I think I should be the next president of the United States.
The name's Tim. Nice to meet you, maybe.
I play guitar, sing silly songs, write stuff, draw shitty pictures and make people on the Internet mad on a professional level. I drink a lot of tea and write letters to pen pals. I also think about death a lot.
Ugh, my dad just asked me if I wanted the moon, and I thought he said a moon, so I said yes, and then he showed me that he bought the moon for me and I didn’t want our stupid moon. I wanted Callisto, one of Jupiter’s moons, but he wouldn’t listen and told me the purchase was final.
Oh my god why are parents so stupid?
Saw a Smart Car with the license plate “JAMINIT”.
Because “PUSSYMAGNET” was obviously too long.
Have you ever heard of a video game called “Ant Destroyer”?
It’s not so much a video game, as much as it is just me killing ants in my house with a flamethrower.
I seriously cringe every time I read or hear the word “fandom”.
I have a Lil’ Wayne song stuck in my head.
Not even the combined Megazord of my five therapists can save me.
Just beat the 6th world oh my goodness every level is getting more and more cancerous why can’t this end already oh god.
EDIT: Saadia had six continues and stopped after the 3rd world. Laugh at her shame.
This is the part of the show where I go on random Tumblrs and ask questions that may or may not have been plaguing my mind for a while.
I’d post the answers too, but they’re… They’re really stupid.
One girl actually freaked and told me I shouldn’t hit kids.
Even if they’re sacks of flour, I guess.
What time is it?
RANT TIME
What time is it?
RANT TIME
Okay, what is this? I saw this shirt design in Wal-Mart a while ago, and I’m still detested by it. Seriously, I thought a shirt couldn’t be so terrible. First off, minor problem: Why is “you” and “vowel” capitalized? I’m pretty sure it’s just a sentence. It’s not a title or anything important. And what’s the deal with putting emphasis on the word “BUY” by putting the whole word in capital letters? I said it in my head about a million different ways (obviously not that many, because it would take too long, and I am not that interested in this stupid shirt), and there is no reason for it.
Also, it doesn’t matter if you’re playing Hangman or Wheel of Fortune or ANYTHING. I’m assuming the shirt is playing off of Wheel of Fortune, but if one of the vowels is up there (like “o” or “i”), then why would you have to buy it again? The only letter truly missing from this is “e”. Otherwise, the way I see it, the person or people who designed this shirt and allowed it to be sold in the public is, or are, the true idiot, or idiots.
In other news, I’m incredibly lonely.
SIX. FUCKING. MINUTES.
THIS ASSHOLE WOULD NOT DIE.
So I’m on Facebook, and I’m commenting on this picture that a fan page called DERP put up. This guy blamed the fan page for him failing a class, and the fan page was like, “Uhh, no. You dumb.” And it’s funny, because the guy said, “You are the reasoning that I am already failing a class this year.”
I commented on it, because I enjoy commenting on their posts. Unfortunately, every time I do, it seems, I’ve got idiots like that John Rodenberg guy who thinks that he’s original with this discovery.
Yes, I am black.
Yes, my last name is Whyte.
So, I replied, and even DERP, the fan page, had my back.
Even though I have to deal with idiots like this, damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
EDIT: Photo updated. More likes. Come at me.
