Tumblr protip: Stop tagging a post with more than five tags. Only the first five are searchable in any tag. The rest just make you look desperate.
I passed a pill bug that was stuck on its back, and without thinking, I bent over and flipped him. If it could talk, it would have probably thanked me, but I felt really good about it anyway. That’s why I think I should be the next president of the United States.
The name's Tim. Nice to meet you, maybe.
I play guitar, sing silly songs, write stuff, draw shitty pictures and make people on the Internet mad on a professional level. I drink a lot of tea and write letters to pen pals. I also think about death a lot.
I wrote this song the exact moment I started playing it. It’s called “Get Married”.
I should put up another video soon.
I wrote this song the exact moment I started playing it. It’s called “Get Married”.
Reblogging this every monday until the day I die.
As the night winds down, and I realize that it’s 1:00 AM and I’m still wearing pants (the hell is up with that?), I’m gonna head to bed, I guess. With three new followers, two new pen pals and no loss of dignity today, I’m going to bed in the black.
You know, as opposed to in the red.
Which means negative.
I’m going to bed in the black, which means positive.
It’s not a black thing.
Pants are off.
Feels good.
Fin.
The friendzone is for the loading and unloading of betas only.
Looks like I lost another follower. Back down to my original count.
I am no longer banned on 4chan.
So you can go fuck yourself, Tumblr. You’re my shitty ex-girlfriend that I fell back on when my wife left me, then realized she needed me as much as I needed her, so whatever, Tumblr.
(Nah I’ll still hang around I like messing with people on this site and being funny.)
I sort of tricked my dad into buying me this hat today. We were at Target, and he asked me if I needed anything. I told him socks and a belt, so I walked to the men’s clothing section and saw this little number, so I put it on.
Then, we’re at the register, and the hat’s still on my head. So I start to take it back, and…
Long story short, I killed the sales clerk.
I desperately need more people to follow other than the five I do look at now. Going through my followers to find some worthy souls. If anyone out there can suggest anyone, please let me know. You know what I like.
My nephew walked in the door.
Me: Heeeeeey!
Nephew: Hey uncle!
Me: What's up, dude?
Nephew: Fine.
Me:
Nephew:
Me: You have three seconds to leave our home and try that again. If you fail, you will no longer be allowed on the premises, do you understand me?
Going to the beach.
Leave me questions about my butt.
