Rest in peace, Lulzes.
*sniff*
I passed a pill bug that was stuck on its back, and without thinking, I bent over and flipped him. If it could talk, it would have probably thanked me, but I felt really good about it anyway. That’s why I think I should be the next president of the United States.
The name's Tim. Nice to meet you, maybe.
I play guitar, sing silly songs, write stuff, draw shitty pictures and make people on the Internet mad on a professional level. I drink a lot of tea and write letters to pen pals. I also think about death a lot.
This picture actually has so much meaning behind it. I told my friends back in high school that when I lost my virginity, I’d send them a picture of me holding my cat in the air, along with, maybe, a Legend of Zelda-style “Da na na NAAAAAHH” sound with it.
I ended up just posting it on Facebook. But the friends who remembered got a good laugh out of it.
Good times.
Just wanted to share that with everyone, since this has been in my drafts folder since Reagan was president.
Oh sweet Jesus on a pogo stick that’s funny.
Today seems like a good day to go on Facebook and disagree with absolutely EVERYTHING I see.
More news at eleven.
Oh.
So that’s what herping is.
I learned something today.
Just talking to God.
My nephew just asked me what a “happy ending” is.
He’s only four years old.
What the hell do I tell him?
Every time I hear someone say that they only date models…
I like to say, “Don’t you mean mannequins?”
Cracks me up every time. Some jokes never get old.
"No one has seen my balls since 1945, when I dropped them on Hiroshima and Nagasaki."
—One of the more “normal” things I say
