Penis: Mmmrff frmm phmmmh.
Tim: *looks around* Oh, is that you, Penis? *unzips pants*
Penis: Hello, Tim. Yes, it is I, your penis.
Tim: Hello, Penis. How are you doing this fine day?
Penis: I suppose I'm fine. You?
Tim: Well, I could be better, but I could be worse, so I'm okay.
Penis: Excellent. Well, actually, I was concerned with something...
Tim: What is it, Penis? What seems to be the trouble?
Penis: Well... I don't want to be a dick...
Tim: Tee hee. Oh, Penis, you are a card.
Penis: But on a more serious note, Tim... I'm a little concerned that you've been a bit lonely lately. Am I correct in assuming this?
Tim: I guess, but you don't understand, Penis. It feels like I'm losing people in my life, one by one. And I know they're not gone forever, but it's hard to feel like your friends are close when they're moving farther and farther away. I just miss people, that's all. And it doesn't feel like I have too many people left who I really, well... like.
Penis: I understand, Tim.
Tim: And I suppose it's also the recent relationship change.
Penis: That's what I meant.
Penis: Tim, I know you're lonely, but...
Tim: ... Yes?
Penis: Tim, I can only take so much. And your left hand can be a bit brutal sometimes. Just... Please go find a vagina. I have needs too, Tim.
Tim: Dammit, Penis, you're right. I've been selfish this whole time, when it was you who was hurting all along as well. We'll make it through this together, don't you worry, Penis.
Tim: Yes, Penis?
Penis: You're my best friend.
Tim: Well, Penis, when it comes to best friends, we can't be beat.
Penis: Ha ha, maybe YOU can't be beat!
Tim: OH PENIS HA HA HA.
*heartfelt hug, cut to black*