Portrait

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I passed a pill bug that was stuck on its back, and without thinking, I bent over and flipped him. If it could talk, it would have probably thanked me, but I felt really good about it anyway. That’s why I think I should be the next president of the United States.

The name's Tim. Nice to meet you, maybe.

I play guitar, sing silly songs, write stuff, draw shitty pictures and make people on the Internet mad on a professional level. I drink a lot of tea and write letters to pen pals. I also think about death a lot.

Kitty McThunderstorms vs. Cassie and Aleccia

Cassie: Yo. Yo. Check my flow, you already know who dis be on the mic doe. Cass be fuckin' shit up like a true boss, my swag go so hard it get the job done like dental floss. Dental floss for lecci's stank ass breath, I admit this muh'fucka's breath makes me melt, like a witch in some water or some real hot lava but what's worse is that derpy nigga Tim, time to be a problem solva. Let's get some swag, start by pullin them pants down, your pant legs come up so high yo ashy ankles make me frown. Next lets see what other tips you can get from me, maybe you can get some new fresh kicks please. maybe a new shirt cause all yo shit is busted, something with less holes under your armpits? Let me put lecci back on the mic cause she got some more to say cause you roasted her real bad just like I did the other day.....
Aleccia: yea go ahead and put that mic down im about to start a fight now meet me on top of the twin towers (flight down) yup you've awoken the beast I wanted to go easy on you but I put you to sleep, lookin like the scarecrow off of the wiz ol derpy self OMG I feel bad for your kids, I'll whoop a kids azz if it looks like yourself saying go get a switch matter ah fact, let me go get my belt.
Tim: Looks like Cassie's steppin' up. Oh no, the plot thickens.
Well, thanks a fuckin' lot for the novel, Charles Dickens.
I'm far too important to be expected to read this,
And I don't wanna hear any more about reptile piss.
That shit is ridiculous, I am too meticulous.
Battlin' three people at once, so I'm not new to this.
I admit, I wear my pants high, but I'm still considered a leader.
Meanwhile, you're the child bitin' ankles, Mrs. Stanky Bottomfeeder.
You act like yo shit is tight, like you really think you can win,
When your day job is a slob mannequin for the Goodwill bargain bin.
I'm what you wanna be, my persona's what you strive to
Become, but, umm, you get excited 'cause Payless just got a drive-thru.
Lookin' fresh every day, and you just hate to admit it,
I know I roasted ol' charcoal skinned girl, she didn't know I did it.
Robbed her blind, and now she can't find her own identity.
And I'm about to do the same to you, so c-c-come at me.
I don't have to be superficial. I wear what I wear.
You don't know me; clothes don't own me. Threads come with their own fair.
You have absolutely no swag, so just listen to me preach.
The next time we're out in public, remind me to bring your leash.
Tim: Ay yo Lecci, I think it's plain to see,
You feel bad for the kids you wanna have with me.
I'mma end this one quick, so here I go, just spit it.
Take your belt, hit yourself and then hang yourself with it.

This couldn’t have been more perfect. Saadia, I’ve been saving this for a time like today. Read. Read it. Do it. Seriously. Hilarious.

Or, at least, I thought it was.

30 Day Poetry Challenge - Day 2

Whoops. Didn’t do it yesterday.

Who was the last person you texted? Write a five line poem to that person.”

Cassie.

It’s strange: What we could have is special.
A love that will change the mindset of the masses.
Unfortunately, it would seem that it would never be
Only because you seem to be attracted to candy-asses.

Can I still touch your boobs?

Nice to get an afternoon call from Emily.

*Emily calls*
*Cassie answers phone*
Emily: Hello?
Cassie: HELLOOOO?
Emily: HELLOOOO?
Cassie: HELLOOOO?
Emily: HELLOOOO?
Cassie: HAAAII
Emily: HAAAII
Cassie: HELLOOOO?
Emily: HAAAII
Cassie: HELLOOOO?
Emily: Hi.
Cassie: *hands phone to Tim*
Emily: Hello?
Tim: HELLOOOO?
Emily: HELLOOOO?
Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.