I passed a pill bug that was stuck on its back, and without thinking, I bent over and flipped him. If it could talk, it would have probably thanked me, but I felt really good about it anyway. That’s why I think I should be the next president of the United States.
The name's Tim. Nice to meet you, maybe.
I play guitar, sing silly songs, write stuff, draw shitty pictures and make people on the Internet mad on a professional level. I drink a lot of tea and write letters to pen pals. I also think about death a lot.
My brother just came into my room while I was trying to rap, totally interrupting my creative process, and asks me if I have a trash can.
I say yes, and he walks in and throws away an empty box of Magnum condoms.
This motherfucker trying to rub it in my face that I have to use water balloons?
xoxosaadia said:
He doesn’t have sex. He’s just trying to make it seem like he does. Having a kid scared him from ever having sex.
xoxosaadia likes this
asapcockblocky reblogged this from sirbombalot and added:
I shed a single tear from laughter
sirbombalot posted this
