xoxosaadia asked: Unicorn
There once was a secret village, full of thousands of magical unicorns, who lived in peace and happiness. Out of the many unicorns, there was one, named Pablo, who was the smallest unicorn, despite being 46 unicorn years old (598 in human years) and still living with his mother. Pablo was teased a lot by other unicorns much younger than him, but bigger, more handsome and with many more ladies than Pablo would ever dream of having. In fact, Pablo had never really been with a female unicorn, but that’s beside the point.
One day, Pablo was outside his mother’s house, polishing his complete set of “Unicorn Wars” figurines when Randy and his gang of mean unicorns showed up on the other side of the fence.
“Hey, douchebag!” Randy called out. Pablo was taken by surprise as Randy and the other unicorns cruelly pelted Pablo with assorted items that ranged from phoenix eggs to unicorn dung, and even a few copies of “H2O” on DVD. “Yeah, that’s right… Take it. Take it like the pathetic piece of nothing you are.” This was more than Pablo could bear. He ran inside of his mother’s house, nearly toppled down the stairs to the basement, and cried for hours, until finally, he just… snapped.
“Those other unicorns… *snort* think that they can… *snort* make fun of… *snort* me, call me names… *snort* and… I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to show them that I can be just as strong and brave as all of them,” Pablo decided. Just then, there was a cry of help. Stardust, the only unicorn in the village with even a slightly feminine name, was holding on to a tree branch.
“Help me! Oh, someone, help me! I can’t hold on much longer!” She yelled and yelled for help. For some reason, every other unicorn was busy and did not respond to her help, most likely because it was Wednesday night, and “Hot Sexy Unicorn Jell-O Wrestling” was airing. Only Pablo heard her frantic cries.
“I’ll show them all how fierce and courageous I can be,” Pablo said, as he loaded his guns, rushed out of the house and brutally murdered every unicorn in the village the end.
