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I passed a pill bug that was stuck on its back, and without thinking, I bent over and flipped him. If it could talk, it would have probably thanked me, but I felt really good about it anyway. That’s why I think I should be the next president of the United States.

The name's Tim. Born September 15th, in some year. Nice to meet you, maybe.

I play guitar, sing silly songs, write stuff, draw shitty pictures and make people on the Internet mad on a professional level. I drink a lot of tea, take pictures of bugs often and love to write letters to people. I generally don't like people and also think about death a lot.

My friend is singing “Kung Fu Fighting”.


My ex-friend is singing “Kung Fu Fighting”.

There’s a girl here singing “Men in Black” and she’s the cutest thing in the universe it is pissing me off to no end man

Anonymous asked: What do you do if you are in love with someone who isn't there


Put yourself in the smallest room in your house, realise that all your love is either being absorbed into the walls or back into your body, stay there until you feel like walking to a park and sitting under a tree

Who is the best rapper of all time?


Criteria include commercial success, lyrical ability, impact on hip hop, and ability to actually rock a stage.

Who would you choose?

Too lazy to look through notes, has anyone said Dylan yet?

(guess who just started working on thebreakingestnews's queue)

(this guy)

(that’s right we back)

I talk a lot more, which helps a lot around people. Also more inclined to tell people how I really feel about them, which isn’t always good.

Nah, that’s not always good but it’s fun as hell to watch other people do it. I’m glad that I’ve never needed “liquid courage” or anything like that to talk to people. When I’m drunk I think I talk about the same amount, which was already way too much. I mostly tell people how I really feel about them when I’m high, and when I’m high they’re all good things. Like, in an inebriated state I consider the feelings of people even more and know not to say anything mean or weird (as far as I know).

I shouldn’t tell people how I really feel about them like for real for real because they’d mostly be bad things lol.

There are a lot of different kinds of drunks. Most everyone is different. I don’t know if I’ve ever said this before, but I, personally, am a weirdly-considerate and cleanly drunk. Usually if I’m impaired in any way I start to gather trash or ask people for their empty bottles at parties. If I think I’ve wronged someone or offended anyone with anything I said or did, I’d apologize profusely and feel bad for a good while.

It’s weird but whatever. I’m probably cool to chill with while I’m drunk, but that’s my opinion and that may be wrong.

Everyone else I know is too damn insufferable when they’re drunk, and I realize now that that is one of the reasons I don’t like drinking: I don’t know anyone who is more fun or less annoying when they’re drunk.

Put a ♪ in my inbox and I’ll answer a question that you didn’t even ask!

It’s amazing that so many people reblogged this because it really was a joke. But if y’all are getting little music notes then more power to ya.

(Source: sirbombalot)

I’m not staying up to see the moon’s mega evolution.

I’m not staying up to see the moon’s mega evolution.


Look at the eclipse!

Okay look if it’s gonna be bloody at midnight then heck yeah sure that’s fine but if I have the time zone wrong and it’s something way later for California then I can just draw my own moon with some crayons and color it red and show my dad when he comes home from work and put it on the fridge myself.

I don’t need no moon to do that.

I don’t care about the moon anymore. I don’t care ‘bout nothin’. Someone sen me some cool pictures of it later thanks.

I just remembered that there was a reason as to why I was staying up. The moon thing is tonight. Tonight is the night the moon is finally in the sky. I’m going to look at the moon and I am going to dream of a time when I didn’t know the moon existed. The moon will be beautiful and red, just as it has always been.