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I passed a pill bug that was stuck on its back, and without thinking, I bent over and flipped him. If it could talk, it would have probably thanked me, but I felt really good about it anyway. That’s why I think I should be the next president of the United States.The name's Tim. Born September 15th, in some year. Nice to meet you, maybe.I play guitar, sing silly songs, write stuff, draw shitty pictures and make people on the Internet mad on a professional level. I drink a lot of tea, take pictures of bugs often and love to write letters to people. I also play Magic: The Gathering and wear wacky socks. I generally don't like people and also think about death a lot.

giovannigiorgio:

sirbombalot:

Has anyone thought to put deodorant on their feet because this could be revolutionary I’m just sayin

based on the fact that when you rub garlic on the bottom of your feet you can taste it within a half hour, putting deodorant on my feet is not something I’d be down with

I’m mostly mad at myself because 1. I did not know this and 2. I’m going to try it the next time I find some garlic.

Has anyone thought to put deodorant on their feet because this could be revolutionary I’m just sayin

xoxosaadia:

I bought a thing and it was supposed to get here tomorrow but now it won’t get here until Thursday and I’m incredibly pissed about it because it needed to be here yesterday

Did you just call me stupid

YO MY DAD GO DUMB HARD WITH THE PRESENTS

HE CANNOT BE STOPPED

YO MY DAD GO DUMB HARD WITH THE PRESENTS

HE CANNOT BE STOPPED

kahkrystallynn:

smog121:

sirbombalot:

Philosopher side of Tumblr, please answer me this: If a birthday is happening today and no birthday nudes are received, is it really a birthday?

Nudes coming your way, bro. Don’t worry, I gotchu.

Birthday confirmed!

Both of y’all stop actin childish and find me some nudes

(via scootersenshi)

huffingtoncoast replied to your post: “I was at a middle school for work a few hours ago and I passed this…”:

I sometimes forget what a great storyteller you are. This is amazing. It’s a thriller. It’s a romantic comedy. It’s an everything. I hung on every word and it’s left me wanting more. I’m proud to know you as a friend Tim and happy birthday.

Why hasn’t anyone destroyed you yet

Philosopher side of Tumblr, please answer me this: If a birthday is happening today and no birthday nudes are received, is it really a birthday?

I was at a middle school for work a few hours ago and I passed this kid. He saw my name tag and excitedly said, “Hey, I have the same name as you! I’m Timothy!” And I laughed and shook his hand and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Timothy. My name’s Timothy.” And then I passed him and realized I’d never see him again.

Godspeed, middle school Timothy. Godspeed.

ekatva said: hey manderbrodude happy birthday

Why thank you my guypersondawgthing! 😎

dolus-vel-lascivia said: Psst. Happy birthday. c: I do hope you enjoy it. Have a hug -hugs-

Thank you thank you! That hug went hard af. Nice.

solarsenpai replied to your post:

happy birthday dude

Hey thanks man, I appreciate that shit.