Portrait

Hate mail goes here.

Submit something or not.

I passed a pill bug that was stuck on its back, and without thinking, I bent over and flipped him. If it could talk, it would have probably thanked me, but I felt really good about it anyway. That’s why I think I should be the next president of the United States.The name's Tim. Born September 15th, in some year. Nice to meet you, maybe.I play guitar, sing silly songs, write stuff, draw shitty pictures and make people on the Internet mad on a professional level. I drink a lot of tea, take pictures of bugs often and love to write letters to people. I also play Magic: The Gathering and wear wacky socks. I generally don't like people and also think about death a lot.

A list of the most satisfying feelings:

  • kissing a cute girl for the first time
  • hitting someone with a green shell in Mario Kart
  • taking a shower after not showering for, like, a month
  • finding a dollar on the ground
  • finishing a short story and thinking it doesn’t suck
  • beating someone in a freestyle rap battle
  • finding your favorite limited edition flavor of ice cream at the grocery store
  • staying up all night with a bunch of cool people and laughing about things
xoxosaadia:

huffingtoncoast 1. Handwriting 2. Tim would never be that nice to me in a note 3. You been acting real sus lately, and I knew you asked for both of our addresses, so it was the only logical explanation

If you had already known Saadia’s address this would have been amazing but I’m still giving you a strong 8/10.

xoxosaadia:

huffingtoncoast 1. Handwriting 2. Tim would never be that nice to me in a note 3. You been acting real sus lately, and I knew you asked for both of our addresses, so it was the only logical explanation

If you had already known Saadia’s address this would have been amazing but I’m still giving you a strong 8/10.

tsunamiwavesurfing:

we needa bring back booty bloggin when the shawties used to post the gluteus these days it just smile pictures like c’mon fuck you smilin bout aint shit sweet

I am in full support of this.

The best way to keep a child in line is to trick him or her into eating a raw egg. That kid will never forget that experience. Just start hiding eggs in their belongings. Put eggs everywhere. Keep them humble and fearful. Egg rules all.

embelish:

is it bad i thought this was hilarious ?

Nah I’m right there with you, this is great.

embelish:

is it bad i thought this was hilarious ?

Nah I’m right there with you, this is great.

To be honest, if you ever get me a gift for something and that gift happens to telescope or it’s collapsible or something, that gives the gift a 7x multiplier for cool. I’m mostly mentioning this because I feel like I haven’t let people know what a humongous fucking geek I am lately.

lchry said: do you follow Denny's on tumblr?

dennys:

tacobell:

They wish.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The number one reason why I hate kids is because they think every little stupid thing they do is worthy of your attention. The second reason is because they’re always hungry.

haitianprophet:

aspookyhatandadream:

lilgivenchyprincess:

My friends boyfriend cheated on her and the other girl mailed my friend her underwear and was like “your boyfriend loves these on me so much I thought I’d send them to you so maybe he would want you”

Biblical level disrespect

You can’t come back from that. You gotta send back a letter simply saying thanks.

(via goodandcrazypeople)

Yoshi games are cool as fuck because they’re so painfully adorable and cute but no one is gonna rag on you for playing a Yoshi game. Or, at least, no one has ragged on me because I am too tough and intimidating and will crush them flat.

I really miss that foreign exchange student from my high school days.

I really miss that foreign exchange student from my high school days.